I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Randomize
