How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
