haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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