How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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