I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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