Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
