I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
