Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
