Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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