I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
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