we're blogging at a bar
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
