I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
