Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Randomize
