what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
