I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Randomize
