I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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