no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
