i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
