he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Randomize
