so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
