we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
