Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
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