3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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