my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
