if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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