is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
