trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
