The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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