just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
