If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
As shirtless as possible
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
