Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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