You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
