I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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