There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
