I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
