Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
