i need an iv and a liver transplant
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
