the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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