My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
