i just wanna soil my oats bro
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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