I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
