when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
