just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
