Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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