Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
she told me i tasted like america
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
