Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
