May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
