You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I don't think brook has ever known best
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Randomize
