well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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