You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
