Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
This girl is more easily done than said...
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
