Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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