i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Randomize
