Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
This is my life. Enjoy the view
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
