Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
