If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
