Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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